Friday, September 30, 2005

More Than Capable

Let us not forget what we accomplished last year. Hold those memories close during this series, people.

I am so f'n ready for this.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Get Ready

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Highlights So Far

Edgar. 1 Homer, 2 Walks. 1 Double. Just in case you aren't keeping up.
DiNardo. This dude has some good stuff. I think we've got another quality reliever.

We may be trailing by 5, but I think we are learning some key things.

P.S. Why the eff did David just bunt in the 7th? Dumb move.

Oh, and by the way ...

I moved. Like, physically. Here's a hint:

Cambridge's Kid Brother With The Perpetually Runny Nose

(Can you guess the city?)

Here are a few more Massachusetts city slogans (all courtesy of some dude/chick at

Lexington. A nice place to live, but I wouldn't want to visit there.
Medford: Come Drive Our Unfriendly Roads.
Bedford. Rhymes With Medford.
New Bedford, Now With Keno!
Welcome to Amherst, If That's Okay
You're Now In Athol. Quit Snickering.
Waltham: The Traffic Begins Here.
Northampton: No Turn On Red
Help, I'm In Billerica
Marlborough: Smoke If You've Got Em.
Southborough: We Didn't Like Marlborough, So We Left.
Natick: Clean Restrooms
Who Wants To Be In Weymouth?
Don't Look At Us, We're Only Woburn
Gloucester - Rhymes With 'pasta', Not That You'd Know By Looking
Newton: It's Not A Cookie, Mother.
Watertown - Well? Where's The Damn Water?
No Sex, Please, We're In Hatfield
Cambridge - Starbucks And Barnes & Noble As Far As The Eye Can See!
Brookline! We're Sell-Outs!
Oh, Look, It's Maynard.
Foxboro: We'll Do Anything, Just Please Don't Let The Patriots Move
Nantucket -- Please Go Away
Danvers: Why?
It's Your Own Damn Fault You're In Wilbraham

Game Tworonto

I was feeling pretty confident approaching the park last night. I really thought it was going to be Curt's first "Curt" start. I should have relied on my Seinfeld "opposite" theory. My gut had me hooked all the way up to the 5-5 tie. I thought, too, that Hansen was going to get in there an be all lights out on the Jays. There was an electric charge in the air. I felt it. The cheers for the O's when the scoreboard flipped to reveal their lead were intense.

First, I want to note that Edgar was 3 for 3 going into the 8th. He screwed up a line drive at some point (also in the 8th or maybe the 9th, I think), but his offense is really firing up. And with the stinky bullpen we now have, we are really going to need the bats. 'Cause we ain't winnin' no titles with our pitching staff.

Second, I am really pissed off because we should have won last night's game. We had opportunities and we really blew them. Johnny swinging at a wicked outside pitch in the 9th. And Millar, not getting anything done, as usual. I don't know what to say about Kevin at this point. Honestly, I think he should be benched for the year. That's a strong opinion, but he has had ample time to find his game, and ok, I guess there was a key defensive play last night, but where are all his RBIs this year? Actually, last night's loss belonged to the pitchers. If you can't win a game against the sub .500 Blue Jays with 12 hits and 5 runs, well, I just don't know.

At least we only lost by 2. The Yankees suffered a humiliating loss against the O's and boy was that fun. 17-9. That's an 8 run gapper. My co-worker, Tom, and I wonder if a team should be charged after a loss like that. Like, if you lose your game by, say, 8 or more runs, you get slapped with the "gap penalty." It immediately sets you .5 games back. A team could gain the .5 game if they beat on another team and win by 8 or more games. It could make things interesting, but in, the end, you'd have a lot of teams up or down by half games and that wouldn't work out from a practical angle. I could totally hear Remy, though, talking about the threat of one during games, in his sweet Boston accent. "If they ahn't cahful, the Red Sox might get a gap penalty aftah this one. They bettah step it up."

And lastly, we really need to win the next 2 games, reader. And I think we will.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Last Night and a New Blog Plug

Last night (she said) was a wash out. Pat, I've gotta thank you again for enabling me to go to the game, although I am certain that you won't be giving up your Oct 1st ticket. Only a crazy person would do such a thing. So, I met Jere at the park and waited in the bleachers. I looked out at the people gathering, listened to the bubble gum 50's music they play when the gates open and thought: It's totally going to clear up. This is important to note because I am now realizing that my instinct is starting to crap out. And now is not a good time for instincts to crap out. I guess I could employ a George Costanza sort of strategy and go with opposite of what my gut tells me. Damn it, now I'm complicating things. Creating more work for myself during an already crazy baseball time. Thanks a lot, inner soul! So, he met me at the seat and we decided to find Andrew at his infamous 12-8 spot. We were able to hang out with him (under cover) for a bit as the rain really started coming in. Then, I suggested that we try to sit in seats in the Drinkwater/Theo vicinity since there were lots of empties. Jere agreed, still hopeful that we wouldn't be rained out. No such luck. They called the game at 7:30 or so.

The good news is that he was able to get tickets for tonight's game by turning in my ticket + $100 to a (word that rhymes with yalper) for some decent seats. He is also at today's game, as is Andrew. Speaking of bloggers, I am sending a public thank you to Rebecca, for she is giving me her extra playoff ticket (at face value). This woman rocks the hou'.

Oh, and hey - there's a new Sox blog out there and it's a pretty good one. Pixies fan from Providence known simply as J.S. Check out this person's blog entitled Baseball Heavy Heavy (Heavy!) Duty (Duty!), a' heavy duty rock and rolllllll. Anyway, it's a good bloggerino.

And remember, people - the only reason we are lagging behind the Yanks is mother nature! We are not doomed!

Monday, September 26, 2005

The Opposite of Crayons

I guess the opposite of crayons would be watercolor paints. Crayons are hard and waxy, watercolors are smooth and fluid. Just like that sweep.

Ok, maybe the ride was a bit bumpy, but the mighty Red Sox prevailed. A win is a win. A couple of them were really exciting.

And here's a little side project: I am going to write down all the key Edgar moments from here on on. I am convinced that he's more valuable to our team than he is given credit for, When I listen to EEI (I know, I know, I really shouldn't do it), I feel as though the station is berated with callers who continually throw the dude under the bus. I grant you, he is not the best defensive SS in the majors. But he's been cranking out some clutch hits lately (and was almost responsible for a key homer yesterday), so I think he's really going to turn up the Renteria juice in this series with Toronto and beyond.

Like Thin Lizzy says, the boys are back in town. Giddy up!

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Missing Alan?

I forgot to add that Mueller is channeling Embree with the new facial hair and he had one of those bare-handed pick-ups and clean throws to first for an out, so I say - way to work the 'burns, Billy!

Ok, back to The Truman Show ...

O Yeah

Wowie, what a game! It felt like the playoffs, and I have a feeling that they will continue to do so, from here on out. Of the division + the WC, there's only room for 2 teams to advance to the playoffs and there are 3 teams in equal contention at this moment. Well, actually, if we had to go right now, the Sox and the Yankees would have to play a tie breaker, but you get the idea. It's intense.

I had to walk away a few times tonight, especially in the 9th after Timlin allowed a run to score. I eased my anxiety by brushing my cat, which is something I sort of needed to do anyway, judging from how much fur I took off his body.

Hansen was not terrible. I mean, he wasn't a train wreck or anything. He gave up a homer, yes, and a single, I think, but his composure wasn't lost and his fastball is up there, so maybe his next relief outing will be better,

What struck me as sort of weird was Matt's ability to work himself out of jams. Like, insane jams. Giving up tons of walks, loading the bases up and then - poof - out of the inning unscathed.

The drama was so high in today's game, you would think it was scripted. I am sure that I think this simply because the Truman Show is on. Back to back showings on TNT. Looks like I am about to get sucked in.

I am really pumped for tomorrow's game. May the Yanks tank again.

Friday, September 23, 2005

Quickie Look Alike


(You would have to have seen The Goonies to fully appreciate this one.)

And on a game note: Thank you, Tito, for putting in Papelbon. He just got 2 sweet outs. And one was a strike out. Also, has anyone else questioned this home plate umpires calls? Trot got a strike called right before his rocket that was practically scraping his nose. That was an atrocious call and I am shocked that the skipper did not dispute it. Really disappointing calls tonight.

Happy 40th, Manny!

40th homer of the season, that is.

Don't ever try to sneak an inside fastball past Manny Ramirez, says the Rem Dawg.

It's Ours and We're Going to Take It

I've been reading and hearing lots of negative talk about the Red Sox over the last couple of days. My own mom called me today in an absolute fury. "Well, I guess we're out, aren't we?!" she shouted. While I certainly understand the frustration (I needed to be thoroughly "talked down" on Wednesday night), I am NOT giving up hope. As of Thursday morning, we were only .5 out of 1st place. We were responsible for this. As of this morning, we are 1 (stinking) game out - we had no control over this, as it was a day off. Can't blame the Sox.

What can I say? I'm not worried.

1. We have home game advantage for the remainder of the schedule (after the current series).
2. Tito will not hesitate to use the younger arms in relief.
3. Johnny is back in the line up.
4. No more pesky Evil Rays to face.
5. We've had a day of rest.
6. We're angry because we are now trailing the Yankees and this is great motivation.

We are clutch. This is not the 2000 or 2001 Red Sox team. We are a resilient group of champions. World Champions. We will be going to the playoffs with- or without - the Yankees. I am convinced that we will not be let down. We aren't complacent, just a little tired. When push comes to shove, though, we're gonna clinch this thing. I can't prove that this is going to happen with a lot of statistical data. Now is the time that teams show us what they are really made of. Earned run averages and slugging percentages aside - right now it's about guts and grit and toughness and we, the Red Sox, possess all of these qualities in abundance. So, as fan, it's that time of the season when I stop analyzing pitching match-ups and I rely on the mystics of baseball and good vs evil and all that stuff. Magic and whatnot. We're going to win this division if it kills me. I refuse to let the Yankees take away what is rightfully mine. Uh, I mean, OURS.

I'm putting on my game hat now. And I'm getting ready for a win.

By the way, I told my mom that if she didn't adjust her attitude, I was not going to let her celebrate our division clinching victory with me. She laughed. I wasn't kidding.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Raymond's Destructive Ways

My NYC correspondent (okay, Jere) kindly sent me these images of Raymond going off on poor little stuffed Wally.

Here is the groin mascot holding little Wally and shaking him. It almost looks like he's using Wally like a mic, pointing it out into the crowd, Bon Jovi-style. You give mascots a bad name, Raymond!

In this picture, you see Raymond's large furry feet standing in back of wee Wally, lying still.

Mr. "I Don't Pick on Mascots My Own Size" is about the run over Wally with his remote control dune buggy thing.

Eek! Here's Wally getting hit.

Raymond inflicting more pain on an already hit Wally. This time with his enormous blue body.

Lastly, here's helpless Wally stuck under this cowardly bastard's wheels.

Also courtesy of Jere, here were Remy's quotes, while this all unfolded:

Raymond should be suspended for the remainder of the season. excuse....
That's assault and battery.
In all my time in baseball, I've never seen anything like that in my life.
Orsillo (after Rem says Wally got up, dusted himself off): Walter is very resilient.

I don't think there are words, really.

Brace Yourself

Crappy Fionna Apple is coming out with a new CD. The woman who wears flip flops to award ceremonies and whose only other claim to fame was starting a cause to end the tradition of the Thanksgiving turkey. But, no, she's not a pet peeve of mine. Not by any stretch.

The Furry Crotch Strikes First

Normally, I don't have issues with the Tampa Bay Devil Rays. I find them to be bitter, sore losers who fight dirty when the opportunity arises. Most bench clearing events take place during games with the Rays and don't get me started on Kazmir. But still, I'm not threatened by this team, as they always find a way to hurt themselves in the end, despite promising players like Crawford. I almost feel bad for Piniella. He always looks so pathetic there in the dugout, knowing (in his gut) that his destiny is last place, by a lot, year after year.

My issue lies with Raymond, the blue furry crotch mascot. I posted about him not long ago. I jokingly suggested that Raymond and Wally engage in a wrestling match (as the mission of this blog is to avoid meaningful Red Sox news as much as possible). I claimed that Wally could kick this crotchy-faced butt, hands down. (This is mainly because Raymond appears to be out of shape, while Wally is svelte).

Well, it turns out that Raymond the mascot decided to - in what must be contagious "sore loser syndrome" - start the wrestling match. But not with the real Wally. Instead, Raymond took a small Wally doll and proceeded to sit on it and slap it around like an immature jerky anti-role model. I did not see this. My mother told me about it as the action unfolded on TV (Remember: I am without cable until Thursday), but it got my blood boiling, just the same. And I'm not alone. Remy has public affection for Wally, particularly the doll version of our mascot. He was very disturbed by this behavior and I suspect that this is now war. I know that we have just one more game with these ass clowns, so we'd better make it good. I am a passive person by nature, but no one pulls such a cheap act without consequence. I think that class and the high road can take a back seat for just this once.

Monday, September 19, 2005

Am I Blue?

Ok, I've had enough time over the course of the day to grow impatient. I guess going back to work for the first time in a week can do this to a person. The Zen Kim of the last post is, well, no longer zen. Sorry, Mrs. Joey.

There is too much blue on my Red Sox calendar for the month of September. This schedule is not hard. I don't understand the f'n problem. Just barely winning the other night (Manny getting hit with a pitch) is just unacceptable. And throwing Wakefield's beautiful work down the drain on the 11th is simply shameful. Question: Who do you worry about most taking the mound, Curt or Matt? Answer: It's 6 of one, half a dozen of the other, my friend. I just don't know. Curt, I guess.

Bright Spots or 5 Thoughts That Relieve the Knots in My Stomach

1. Wells. (Can you even believe I wrote this? Damn.)
2. Wake.
3. Graffanino.
4. David aka Super Clutch.
5. Papelbon. (2.67, dude)

I think a sweep is in order. Let's take care of the Evil Rays and chalk up some damn wins.

Ok. We out.

I'm Back

...but my access is limited until Thursday of this week. Had a very busy week off, but got lots accomplished.

1.5 games ahead is still ahead. I am not worried. Well, I'm a little worried about Matt's pitching, but I'm trying to look at this as him just working out a few kinks. I am convinced that he will be totally eye-of-the-tiger, come play off time.

More later.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

Ciao for Now

After tomorrow, I will be on vacation from work - and on vacation from the blog. For a week or so. But who knows? I might find time to post here and there, so please check in.

Before I go, though, I wanted to offer a huge thanks to Jere for extending his extra ticket to me last night. Excellent game. Getting our picture taken with Mike Myers and Tim Wakefield was a definite highlight (Charitable Donation is $100. $50 from Jere's mom + $50 from him = our pic with the boys). I noticed that Mike was NOT wearing his signature long sleeve shirt under his jersey (perhaps because the temperature is dropping - maybe wearing warm clothes in the heat is his "thing"). I wanted to shower him with the BBQ flavored sunflower seeds that I still keep in a wee pocket of my packpack from the Mother's Day game (not the real Mother's Day game, but the belated one I brought my mother to). The sunflower seeds were given to us by Mike and Mike (Timlin and Myers). I doubt he would have remembered, so I just smiled and let him give a nod to Jere for his Bad News Bears jersey. Check out his blog for more on the game.

Also, Happy Birthday to both Jere and Sam! And, hey Sam - come talk to me when you reach Ortiz status. Old, shmold. :)

I leave you with last night at Fenway ... as Mrs. H from Heart-to-Heart was described - GORGEOUS!

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

I compute it to be an ionic directional probe searching for receiving outlets.

So, we did manage to win 6 out of the 7 games (TB + BAL series), as I randomly predicted. But the tea leaves aren't giving me much going into this week. I had a "feeling" about David's homer last night (I was in the car). So much so, that I made the prediction aloud more than once. I just knew Manny wasn't going to be clutch last night. Also, I think that David understood that it was him or extra innings and no one wanted Wake to squander his completed game. With luck, we will coast into the weekend and beat up on the Yankees. I don't want squeak-by wins. No. I want annihilation. Big time. I want to send them a stinging reminder as to just who the World Champions are. I want to take them down town.

Speaking of the Yankees, do you ever get the impression that Yankee-ville is like Stepford?

They take players - human beings - and drain them of their insides the minute they sign their contracts. The flesh and blood and various innards are quickly replaced with mechanical parts. They are then re-wired in ways that suit front office. Very few are lucky enough to escape and continue to enjoy fruitful major league careers (Carl Everett, for example, who doesn't believe in robots). Others escape temporarily, like Tino Martinez, but get pulled right back in. For the Tinos, it's like a Logan's Run type situation. Maybe George has some players equipped with a detonator. I wouldn't put it past the bastard. This theory can explain a lot, especially Bellhorn's new -and incredibly frightening - look. Perhaps Yankee-ville is like Hotel California. I knew that the pinstripes represented prison cell bars! I am going to work on a Free Bellhorn t-shirt right now!

Friday, September 02, 2005

bright (brīt) adj. Emitting or reflecting light readily or in large amounts; shining

I love starting the month off with a yellow highlighter. And having that little square represent the last in a series of 5 wins (big thanks to Olerud, the man who owned last night's game) makes it even better. We've started 2 other months with wins: May (against the Rangers) and August (against the Royals). So, in 6 months of baseball, we're split 3-3, yellow vs. blue highlighter (April, June and July all started with losses).

So far, my prediction of winning at least six out of seven in these 2 series (Devil Rays and Orioles, combined) has come true. It isn't really so much a prediction as a "we'd better win these games to pad our lead in the division race" feeling. I suppose you can call it a demand. And for once, these people are listening to me. To be safe, we probably ought to paint the calendar with one blue square, preferably 8/7. For strategic reasons, I think losing 1 right before the 3-game series against the Yankees will bring good luck and ripen us for a sweep. But, that's just me. All in all, September really should be an easy month. An inferno of squares, all melded together to form one, unified, raging yellow rectangle. Like a comet propelling itself into the playoffs.