Friday, June 30, 2006


Tomorrow, it will have been 1 year since I lept to blogger from livejournal!

Division Standing

Thursday, June 29, 2006

History in the Making

"Show bunt" is such a funny phrase to me. I show bunt. He show bunt. She show bunt. We show bunt.

So, yeah, I've got lots to catch up on here. Firstly, the Sox are on fire. Fi-YAAAAAAH (sung like Ian Astbury in "Firewoman," less like Jim Morrison in "Light My Fire," though they are interchangeable, really - whichever brooding rock star strikes your fancy). Eleven (plus Eleven, what to do when I was seven) straight with no errors. Unbelievable.

Speaking of Morrisons and brooders, Adam was drafted by the Bobcats! Sadly, he will leave Gonzaga before his last year (who knows how they will fare in the still 65 team NCAA men's tournament?), however, Charlotte must be psyched. He's still rockin' his crazy hair and mustache, thank heavens. And did you know that he's wicked into Karl Marx and Che Guevara? He's such a complicated person. Oh, and he pronounces Gonzaga properly, which I might have written a while back. I think it deserves another mention. I am very much considering purchasing his player jersey this year, though I would certainly covet a Gonzaga Morrison jersey more. And if the C's really get AI, well, I will shit myself. I love Iverson and I have no issues with all his "street" whatever that people complain about.

Pedro's return has sparked feelings of nostalgia all throughout the land. I was at Fenway for the first 2 games of the series (alone on Tuesday and with my friend, Kara, last night - all tickets courtesy of Jere - thank you! Well, I'm going to pay him for them, but still ...). I was there for every ovation, every moving tribute. Do I have pictures? No. Why? Because I was clapping crazy like a dope the whole time. But, here are some shots of our '86 American League champs:

Here's Alice. She threw out the 1st pitch. 100 years old, and let me tell you, plenty capable of finding the strike zone.

Castig, the MC

Oil Can Boyd

Converging on the mound


Here comes Bruce Hurst

JIM! (a little blurry, sorry)

Spike Owen

Steve Crawford (I think)

And lastly, here are the 2006 Sox, doing the traditional hand slappin' at the end of the game.

Last night's game was pretty interesting. On the way over, Kara and I were waiting by the Museum of Science, to get onto Storrow, and some weirdo jogging with a t-shirt that simply said "OFFICIAL" on the back, ran his sweaty jogging ass over to my car, stuck his head in (may or may not have dripped sweat on Kara's lap) and said, "I like your stickers!" (referring to my bumper stickers). The rest of the night was simply divine. Fantastic weather (the overcast sky eventually gave way to a gorgeous sunset), close proximity to the beer line and the ladies room, and a nice mix of people in the bleachers (meaning Mets and Sox fans). I heard "(I Wanna) Rock and Roll All Night," by KISS, which I thought was a nice substitute for not hearing Danzig's, "Mother," as Foulke is still on the DL. Incidentally, my next pet (oh, man, there were some sweet cats up for adoption at the Animal Rescue League this weekend) will be named, "Danzig" (male or female).

So, here we are in the 9th. And we are very close to another sweep (2 run lead with Pap on the mound). 4 consecutive, it would be. What an AMAZING diving catch by Coco. I almost lost my mind watching that. Wow. The Sox could be making history here. If they get through this game (or the next) without an error, we will have. Too lazy to do the research.

I've Still Got a Pulse

So, yeah, I've been a bit out of the blogging loop these last few days. Things have been quite busy, but I am slating some writing time for this evening, so watch out! There will be pictures, stories, treats! Stay tuned!

Saturday, June 24, 2006

For Whom the Bell Tolls

One thing I forgot to mention - there were 3 pretty weird deaths in the last day or so:

1. Jean Benet Ramsey's mother (ovarian cancer)
2. Aaron Spelling
3. E. Pierce Marshall (He's the son of the old multi-millionaire dude that Anna Nicole Smith married. She inherited his fortune until the now deceased brought her to court and stuck to his guns over it). By the way, I can totally see a Creepshow scenario playing out, where Anna Nicole visits her ex and he exhumes himself from his own grave screaming, "I want my cake!"

Aaron Spelling was a shocker. And with all the weirdness that's going in Tori's life (you know, marrying that shifty man and all). I think that Michelle Damon and Tori's new hubby would make a fine couple. Those kooky gold diggers!

"My Weird Cat" by Witch City Sox Girl

My cat has taken to sitting, lounging and napping on the coffee table.

It's an IKEA number, not even real wood. I totally don't get it. Before this, he was obsessed with an area in my apartment I call "the cave." It's a tiny alcove behind clothes. A place that humans need to squat to get into. He also went through a "bathroom floor" phase. Normally, he wouldn't be caught anywhere near a bathroom, yet suddenly he was sleeping on my bathmat as though it were his kitty bed. Which is, of course, this:

Somebody Tell Me

What on earth would we do without this man?

God, I love you, David Ortiz. May I never take you for granted. Ever.

Friday, June 23, 2006


Nice guy.

I am really confused about this. Here's a hypothetical scenario: Suppose I get arrested for whatever. Shop lifting or something. My employer finds out and decides, because I'm heading up a project, I'm going to go right back to work immediately and start doing (the stuff that project managers like myself do). Is this even remotely likely? How come ballplayers, wait, professional athletes, own (literally) a get out of jail free card? Where is the shame? Why hasn't the commissioner intervened? At my job, I'm certain that my boss would find a replacement for me pretty fast. When a guy goes on the disabled list, doesn't management have to scramble to find someone to fill the hole? Why isn't Myers mandated to stay out of the rotation until this thing is over? What kind of message does this send to the fans? And who in the world stays with a man who hits you? Even once? I'm sorry, but, there's no "we can work this thing out" in domestic abuse cases. Also, Myers has the worst eyebrows I have ever seen. They're big and pronounced, but also perfectly manicured. Just the type of eyebrows a person who beats his wife would have. I feel bad for the rest of the Phillies. They don't deserve to be associated with King Jackassness.

One last question - what's the deal with this make believe rivalry between the Red Sox and the Phillies? One rivalry isn't enough? (alright, that's 2 more questions). I think the folks in the MLB marketing department thought, "Hey, these Red Sox fans sure like a good rivalry. Let's create a National League rival for them. Brilliant!" Sorry, MLB marketers. I actually like the Phillies.

On a positive note - I've got to hand it to Miguel Cabrera. No one intentionally walks ME! That's a great story.

Thursday, June 22, 2006

Who-Da-Lee Who Cares?

Crawford did steriods and I could care less. It was a billion years ago and, to be honest, who is Paxton Crawford again? He sort of gets slotted in the same category as Dante "The Bitch" Bichette. I mean, why the hell is this front page news?

Prove that Trot or Jason or Nomar was doing it and I'll perk up. Until then, Paxton is getting another 15 minutes he really doesn't deserve.

Need Assistance in the Music Department

Does anyone know where/how I can obtain a copy of Nine Below Zero's Eleven Plus Eleven? This song does not appear to be on any of their discs. They performed it live on an episode of The Young Ones back in '82. I have this on DVD, but I desperately want the single. Anyone?!

Hey, Guess Who's Back?

One for the Braves ...

and one for the Nats ...

Lester was solid last night. Wicked solid.

On a different note, my friend Dan suggested that Ortiz's at bat music be "Rainbow in the Dark" or "Holy Diver." Can anyone guess why? (This is a pretty easy quiz, but you've gotta know your classic rock.)

Happy Thursday!

Monday, June 19, 2006


I can't stand this guy.

This is going to be a weird game, I think ...

Another odd thing about this team is the fact that Schneider wears ivory colored catcher gear. Combine that with his gray uniform, and the dude looks like an armadillo back there. Also, I thought it strange when he was facing Snyder. You know, Schneider vs Snyder.

On a positive note, Gabe Kaplar is back. I still say he's going to get traded. Probably for a pitcher. Especially if he starts turning it on. You don't believe me? Just watch.

The more pressing priority for Front Office was trying to find a pitcher who looks like Bronson to appease those who were pissed off about the Wily Mo for Arroyo deal. Snyder definitely has the Bronson hair as well as the Bronson squint. He's not quite as Daddy Long Legs, but when you look fast ... it's creepy. Please don't tell me you weren't thinkin' it!

Number 13

Hey, Beavis, did you see that guy's jersey?

Mmmm, yeah, hmmmm, mmm, it says, "Fuck." Ha, ha.

Uhhhhh, no Beavis, it says, Fick. With an "i."

Mmmmm, uh, yeah. But it should say "Fuck." That would be cool.

Baseball B-Days

I don't know if any of you have ever done this, but it's a fun little exercise. Baseball reference has this neat little feature called "Players Born Today."

Celebrating brithdays on June 19th: Dustan Mohr, Doug Mientkiewicz, Bruce Chen, Hall of Famer Lou Gehrig, just to name a few.

Both Pete Rose and "Dr. K" Dwight Gooden share my birthday. Scorpios rule!

Not a Bad Start to Interleague Play

That game was Looney Tunes City! I missed the "explosive" 8th inning. I also missed Seanez give up a 3-run-homer (thank heavens). Of course, it sucks that Seanez gets the W (ridiculous reward for shitty pitching), but what can you do? Curt was great last night - and I am amused watching him hit. It's so surreal to see him standing on the 1st base bag. I'm sure this isn't weird for him, since he's spent most of his career in the NL, but still. I think Seanez needs a nickname. See me blow this-nez? Okay, you guys take a stab. Clearly, I've got nothin.

Sweeping the Braves kind of cancels out getting swept by the Twins. I hope they keep Lester in the starting rotation and I also hope that they rely on Decarmen more than Seanez and Tavarez. I think, with a little more major league work, this guy could be a key part of our bullpen. We still need more reliable relief pitchers as well as an answer for Clement, if he continues on this path, but I'm sure that Theo is hard at work on this. He'd better be.

So, the Sox are home tonight to face the team that just took 2 out of 3 with our division rivals. Stink bomb RJ pitches tonight against Myers in Cheese Steak, Cheese Steak, Cheese Steak. Let the Liberty Bell ring!

Ah, I love being back in first place.

Friday, June 16, 2006


Totally unrelated to baseball - I think it's hysterical that scary Rob Zombie was born and raised in Haverhill, Mass.

Public Service Announcement

Hello. My name is Mike Lowell and I rock.

Paid for by the Department of Red Sox Unsung Heroes.

Congratulations to Lester for his first major league victory! The kid pitched well tonight (minus that last inning). Excellent breaking ball.

Poor Eric Frede. His head looks like it was jammed in a vice. Or mooshed together by the hands of Jason Voorhees. Jim Rice wears tinted glasses. I can't believe I never noticed that. He's so snazzy.

Here's a Question

Do you think Seanez even cares how he does? I get the feeling that he doesn't.

(Obviously, Seanez read my blog quickly before taking the mound. He had a decent outing tonight.)

Interleague Father's Play Weekend

I've got a busy weekend ahead which includes attending a wedding in Danvers (Dan-viz, if you're from these parts), so I'm not sure I'll have a chance to write much. I do hope the Sox have gotten all the losing out of their collective system and can put a few Ws on the board. It's an interleague series (the 1st in 5), so our chances are, well, uncertain. I never know how things are going to shake out.

An early "Happy Father's Day" to all you dads out there! Here's a pic of my dad before I was born. It was taken in January of 1970, 7 months before my parents "tied the knot." As you can see, my dad is probably "tying one on" in this shot (see can of Schlitz by his knee). Classic.

[Update: Per Mom's request, I put her back into the photo. I hesitated because of the whole "hand on the knee" thing. This is a family blog! Well, except for the occasional curse words. Heh, heh.]

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Shit Series

Great, tied for second place with the Jays. You know what? We deserve it. We sucked these last few games. Blown opportunities. Crappy relief. Frustrating losses.

Don't Blame Canada. Blame Me.

I vowed to avoid tonight's game. I thought it would be helpful for the Sox. I went out for a long walk, did other stuff, etc. Then, I foolishly put the game on. Just to check in. Top of the 7th, 0-4, Twins. Sorry, kids. This loss is going to be on me. (I figure that announcing a loss before it actually happens will tempt the fates to initiate a come from behind win. But my predicting this just put the kibosh on the plan. Wait, this statement reverses the kibosh. Oh, forget it.)

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

Hot Poker in the Eye, Anyone?

Did I just see that? Did that just happen? ANOTHER grand slam for the Twins? This time, off Delcarmen, who I am secretly pulling for (soft spot for the local kid).

So, who are the active bullpen options (apart from the obvious lights out Papelbon)?

Van Buren - Usually pretty reliable, but way to load 'em up for Delcarmen.
Delcarmen - Decent.
Tavarez - Don't talk to me. I'm still pissed about last night.
Seanez - Sorry, not an option anymore, as far as I'm concerned.
Timlin - Still not 100%.
Riske - Are you kidding me?

This is really shaky.

The only good news tonight is that RJ got ejected for hitting a dude an inning after Posada got pelted. I guess that's why he gets paid the big bucks. I'd love to chuck my ballpoint pen at some of the people I work with from time to time, but I don't. I'd get fired.

P.S. You should pay attention to the organ player tonight. He/she plays the normal rally bars, then zings in a little "Smoke on the Water." Is this some kind of mocking technique? Like, it's a blowout anyway, so I'm just gonna mess around on the keys.

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Wind = Taken Out of Sails

Santana was incredibly dominant tonight. Huge props to Jason for getting a homer off that guy. We had a couple of would-be rallies, including a bunt attempt by Coco (hey, why the heck not?) but it wasn't until the 12th that the Sox got their engine cranked up. The weak pitching by the Twins assisted. The Sox squeaked into the lead on a single up the middle (nicely stunted by the Twins' defense) by Alex Gonzalez (Side bar: I had dinner with my buddies Mr. and Mrs. Joey tonight and he came up in discussion. Mr. Joey is a big fan. I have to agree that he plays his position exceptionally well. No one is complaining, so this is a good sign.) Tavarez with his 2 seam fastball, fanned Mauer for out numero uno. Cuddyer (said Cud-die-er, though I want to say Cudd-ee-yah) was hit by a pitch. Morneau, batter number 3, came up to the plate and shot a (ground rule) double out to right center, bringing the Cud to 3rd. Tavarez intentionally walked Hunter to load the bases. Still one out. Kubel worked the count full. Then, then, then ... he smacked it good and knocked it out. Walk off grand salami.

Oof. I hate to see all that hard work just flushed down the toilet. Especially Curt and Papelbon's. Mainly Pap's, though.

On the plus side, my boy Trot got 2 key hits tonight. I feel like documenting all of his productivity and smearing it in the face of the anti-Trot types. Are they watching the same games as me? You know what they'd say, right? He's playing for a contract. Even if this is true, or partly true, are we supposed to discount all his contributions this year because of it?

Monday, June 12, 2006

Live Free or Hurt Yourself Badly

Ben Roethlisberger was in a pretty terrible motorcycle accident today. I hope he can recover from this alright. News reports are still sketchy here. Some say that he seemed alright walking away from the scene, others suggest that the damage is severe. Either he has a rind as thick as Johnny Damon or there's going to be permanent damage. Let's all hope for the former. I mean, anyone who gets on a motorcycle and refuses to wear a helmet has got to be pretty thick upstairs.

Get well soon, Ben!

Friday, June 09, 2006

Did I say Trot was 3 for 3? Uh, try 4 for 4.

Spread the Love

Alright, I love Youk and all, but here's what I've got a beef with: Lowell is a tremendous talent at 3rd. Dude makes amazing plays over there. Better than Mueller, even. So, when he's able to grab a wild hit towards 3rd with such grace and shoots it over to Youk for the play at 1st, what happens? The crowd screams, "Youuuuuuuuuuuk." I grant you, sometimes Kevin is straddle splittin' on the bag, but can we give it up for them both with a great big, non-player specific cheer?

Also, Hazel Mae is wearing that dumb Easter suit again and I want to puke on it. If I had a body like hers, I wouldn't waste it on cutesy bank lady dresses. Speaking of dresses, I found this gorgous number on line. I don't get girly all that often, so pardon my gushing all over it. I love vintage.

Random Banter (hey, at least I'm consistent)

Mench (aka Super Bobble) is such a villainous name. Just reeks of "bad guy." Speaking of villains, during the pregame, Tom Caron was joined by Dave McCarty. His hair has become so gangster. No, not gangsta, as in "damn it feels good to be a gangsta." Think Cagney and pin striped suits. Here's the way it is, see? We're going to talk about the starting rotation, see? I mean, who dressed this guy? Did his wife make him wear that get-up and style his hair?

You should know that Waldo's voice in the Hot for Teacher video ("Ah, mom, you know I'm not like other guys. I'm nervous and my socks are too loose") is none other than the late, great Phil Hartman. Empy creates parody McCarty articles every so often on her site and they are very amusing. In fact, she just did one today!

Paddila looks a little like Seanez (minus the go-funny eyes), Same number of syllables, too. Padilla is only 28-years-old. What?! Wowzers, you could have fooled me.

Trot's 3 for 3 so far. But he sucks, right? (For those of you getting tired of my sarcasm re: Trot sucking, please know that I will continue to do this until the Nixon poo-pooers apologize publicly. Which basically translates into forever. Sox fans are stubborn as hell about their opinions. Rarely do they stand corrected. I, myself, am no exception. Although, I did come around to David Wells last year. Remember? Anyway, that's not the point. I adore Trot Nixon and that ain't changing.)

By the way, I love the phrase "authentic replica jersey."

If you are going to tomorrow's make up game, like me, don't forget to bring the white cotton socks for the homeless!

Lastly, RJ is having another stinker of an outing for the Yanks.

Thursday, June 08, 2006

I Can't Say Enough About Papelbon

Really, I can't.


Crappy about the postponement of the game last night. In lieu of this, I am posting a pic from a Red Sox-Yankees game I went to on May 22nd.

This is Chris Collins, getting ready to report "live from Fenway Park." Also, I think Byron Barnett is standing to his right, but I'm not sure. I like Chris Collins. He talks like the Coast Guard spotter at the end of the movie Overboard who says, "It was a hell of day at sea, sir!" But seriously, that's a good freaking movie.

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

St. Pauley Boy

Alright, I've decided to take Pauley under my wing. I'm putting on my mommy hat, folks. Maybe it's because he kind of looks like Pee Wee Herman:

Well, sometimes, he sort of looks like Judd Nelson:

Either way, I feel the need to mother him. I want to go out and buy care packages (filled with Shaws brownies and Ssips iced tea) and a copy of Chicken Soup for the Soul. I want to give him pep talks and write him letters of encouragement. I haven't felt this way since the Darrin Lewis days.

Melky Cabrera's at-bat music sounds like a candy commercial from the early 80s. Hi, yes, I'm going to be playing tonight in Yankee Stadium and I'm going to be watched by thousands, if not millions of people on television. Can you please use the music from that old Wheaties commercial when I exit the on deck circle?"

For those of you watching NESN - have you seen the commercials promoting job openings? Are they really hurting that bad? Hell, I'll send my resume.

By the way ...

I hate Cairo.

I hate A-Rod.

I hate Posada.

Hopefully, Yankee fans will have to ease their upset stomachs with "Andy Phillip's Melky of Mussina" when this game is done.

Friday, June 02, 2006

You Mean There's Another Kind of Baseball?

Indeed, there is.

Back in the frigid days of winter, I printed out the NAWBL schedule. That's the North American Women's Baseball League, for those not in the know. Don't worry, you aren't alone. The sport does such a huge injustice to the women who love it and play it hard, it's a wonder they have a half-way decent park to play in.

Anyway, I'm adding "take as much video of these women playing" to my list of summer projects. I'm not sure how I'm going to fit this in with my on-going geneology research and painting projects, but I'm willing to try. The first game I can catch is June 13th* (possibly one over the previous weekend, but I don't know for sure), Ravens vs. Seahawks. My ultimate goal is to create a modest little movie with the footage and send it to the powers-that-be and ask them (who ever they are) to do something to advance this. Oh yeah, the other goal is to watch the women kick ass on the field.

*Not sure if this date is going to hold, as I've recently gone to the site and discovered that the try-outs were pushed back. This could have an impact on the schedule. They've removed all the dates they had up for 2006 so they could post this announcement.